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THE FACTS CONCERNING THE RECENT CARNIVAL OF CRIME IN CONNECTICUT
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Humor; Posted on: 2012-02-07 15:52:35 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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An oldie but a goodie, on the burden our conscience can sometimes present...
by Mark Twain
I was feeling blithe, almost jocund. I put a match to my cigar, and just then the morning's mail was handed in. The first superscription I glanced at was in a handwriting that sent a thrill of pleasure through and through me. It was Aunt Mary's; and she was the person I loved and honored most in all the world, outside of my own household. She had been my boyhood's idol; maturity, which is fatal to so many enchantments, had not been able to dislodge her from her pedestal; no, it had only justified her right to be there, and placed her dethronement permanently among the impossibilities. To show how strong her influence over me was, I will observe that long after everybody else's "do-stop-smoking" had ceased to affect me in the slightest degree, Aunt Mary could still stir my torpid conscience into faint signs of life when she touched upon the matter. But all things have their limit in this world. A happy day came at last, when even Aunt Mary's words could no longer move me. I was not merely glad to see that day arrive; I was more than glad—I was grateful; for when its sun had set, the one alloy that was able to mar my enjoyment of my aunt's society was gone. The remainder of her stay with us that winter was in every way a delight. Of course she pleaded with me just as earnestly as ever, after that blessed day, to quit my pernicious habit, but to no purpose whatever; the moment she opened the subject I at once became calmly, peacefully, contentedly indifferent—absolutely, adamantinely indifferent. Consequently the closing weeks of that memorable visit melted away as pleasantly as a dream, they were so freighted for me with tranquil satisfaction. I could not have enjoyed my pet vice more if my gentle tormentor had been a smoker herself, and an advocate of the practice.
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News Source: Project Gutenberg
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Just Sayin'...
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Humor; Posted on: 2011-01-12 17:30:30 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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Accused killer Jared Loughner and Fox News Glen Beck.
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News Source: Email
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President's Angry Vent Following Press Briefing
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Humor; Posted on: 2010-12-05 22:29:03 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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Body language reveals extreme hostility.
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News Source: Email
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The Power of a Badge
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Humor; Posted on: 2010-03-31 19:08:07 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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A Drug Enforcement Administration officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I'm here to inspect your ranch for marijuana."
The rancher points and says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
"Mister," the DEA officer explodes, "I've got the authority of the federal government with me!" He produces his badge from his pocket and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this? This badge means I'm allowed to go wherever I want -- no questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? You understand me, old man?"
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
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News Source: Email
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Raw Video: Dog Attacks Police Cruiser
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Humor; Posted on: 2010-03-27 01:40:07 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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Police in Chattanooga, Tennessee, have released dash cam video of a
dog attacking the bumper of a police cruiser. Thursday, a judge
released the dog from a shelter on "good behavior" and returned him to
his owners. (March 25)
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News Source: Email
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Phone Call From Hell
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Humor; Posted on: 2009-12-23 02:40:15 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.
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News Source: Email
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Offce Worker Death Metal
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Humor; Posted on: 2009-12-01 14:28:40 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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The news has been pretty heavy lately, so take a look here. I got a real kick out of this. Anybody familiar with Death Metal will totally get it. Wait for the guitar solo... ~FR
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News Source: Frank Roman, EAU
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The Greatest Prank Call Ever
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Humor; Posted on: 2009-08-27 19:20:02 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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American's can fight back when it comes to unsolicited calls.
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News Source: Email
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Being "Black in America"
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Humor; Posted on: 2009-07-16 14:57:44 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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Stuff Black People Don't Like #162.
Black people have a number of reasons to celebrate life in 21st century America. A president has been elected - receiving more than 96 percent of the national Black vote - that looks like them (although he doesn't sound like the majority of Black people).
Black people have countless organizations that work to support and augment Black people in their pursuit of happiness, from the NAACP, the United Negro Fund, 100 Black Men, and well, this list here is dedicated to Black peoples' advancement in the United States.
Since Pre-Obama America was repudiated in the 2008 election, Black people now exert control over the United States in ways unimaginable to their ancestors:
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News Source: Stuff Black People Don't Like
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The Italian Tomato Garden
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Humor; Posted on: 2009-06-02 15:38:01 [ Print / Instant Flyer |
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An Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The father wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
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News Source: Email
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